Just something on my mind at the moment...

Fate is a cruel mistress... Or should I say luck??
Never did know the difference between the two and never did really bother...
Never did really believed in those things...
Just a matter of probabilities... Just the matter of whether it favors you or not...
If yes you probably have a better life than other and if not... Hey, just your luck... XD

Of all the 7 billion people in the world (yes the population of homo sapiens in the world had just reach a whooping 7 billion so better buckle up cause its going to be a tight squeeze...) the opposite sex that I had interest with is the most unlikely one...
The one that had everything opposite with me...
Smarter than me, better personality than me, thinner than me, better at sports than me and the list goes on...
I always wondered why I had a "thing" for people older than me...
Is it because I like it that way or does age doesn't matter to me?
Some may like those girls that are young and cute and have a very funny personality...
Or busty type, small type, thin type, model type or whatever type it is...
All I can say is that no matter what their appearances looks like, as long as they are understanding then I will have interest towards them...

Of all the girls that I had admired, liked or until the extend to confessed to them I can tell you there are people telling me that why the hell do you like those kind of girls?? What do you look in them?
All I can say is beauty is not skin deep... Yes is undeniable that it gives the first impression but do you really want a girl who has a supermodel physique but acts like a bitch??
I know I don't...

I don't know how long I can keep this up and I know it is not meant to be...
But I want to be close to you as long as I can and that's all I asked for...

In the Driver's Seat

Had a very meaningful chat today with somebody I might even call a friend...
I was an emotionally stricken person and I think that's obvious enough but I chose to conceal it instead of letting it pour out like most of the people. In my own opinion (AGAIN I STRESS!!! MY OWN OPINION!!!) I think is a little childish because raw emotions are just being blurted out which normally without the consent or concern for other people's well being...
But at times that is just what we needed to make our self felt at ease...
After all we are only humans... Creature made of flesh and blood where we put ourself on the priority mostly because it is hardwired in our mind since the dawn of our ancestors... But this is NOT THE POINT here...

To observe a person's true character and natural attitude it is advisable to observe from afar instead of participating in it and take judgement there as most of the time you will be swept into it and become one yourself...
Not to say it's a bad thing depending which kind of people you surround yourself with and your outlook towards them (MY OWN OPINION!!!) But your judgement will be more clear if you are not involved directly...
People are also animals (just a figure of speech) who crave for compassion and sometimes even to the point of going to your own principle or even harming themselves... They just can give anything instead of being alone...
And those who have the courage of being something different are being labelled as outcast or being alienated by them and to me those are the person who really have the courage to change and make a difference in themselves...
Those who stay with other for the sake of companionship and reluctant to change because they are in fear... Fear of being alone... But that's normal as who in the world don't have fear? Nothing's wrong with that and if there are people out there who do not have fear those are the people who's have something wrong...

We all have fears while some may have more than others but if you have the initiative to change and make a difference in your life and stand up for yourself then you are conquering a fear one way or another...
And I salute you for that...
So what if  you lost your companionship? Their view is different and so that's that and you can't change their perception coz that's who they are...
However you can continue to befriend them if you accept you for who you are or just withdraw yourself...
There are people who can accept you for whoever you are in this world and you can take them as friends...
You don't have to change yourself just for the sake of being liked by others and who are them to ask you to change anyway? (unless you are willing to do so then please ignore the last sentence...)

YOU ARE THE CAPTAIN OF YOUR OWN LIFE!!!
With friends like that who needs enemies??
The point is make a change for yourself and not for the sake of others (again unless you are unwilling to and that's entirely up to you...)

PS: all the above are entirely my own opinion and not directed to anybody... I apologize in advance if you felt offended... It is not to be taken in if they are unwilling... Just speaking out my mind...

Update on 4th Semester... (part 1)

My current semester is a short semester... So it will be more packed although only 2 subjects...
Biochemistry 2 (Sigh...) and Genetics 2 (okay lo...)
Time table's normal except the fact that there is only 2 hours class on Tuesday... 9-11 only...
Cant they move it to other day and make it no class that day? Very troublesome for me just to go there for 2 freakin hours...
At least this time the lab journals were better than my last short semester as one group only produces one journal... my workload decreased 2-4 folds...
Lab partner for both was May Xian aka Kiam aka Lynn...

Really nothing much this semester thus far... Except that...
Could see that the ugly side of some people... Such as people spilling their beans about other people in front of me... Really cant resist these guys... In order to get on the good side of people they can take advantage by using the secrets their friends entrusted them with... Disgusted by it...
If you really can't keep a secret better don't tell the guy who told you that you can...
You think you may have gained the interest of the person you told it to... But if the person is really smart they will take cautious of you instead of being more friend with you...

Next is something from last semester... Really had no regrets helping a lecturer with her workshop...
First it was really interesting although that was not my 1st time doing Restriction Enzyme Digestion...
Second manage to make a few friends on the way... Students from a girl school in Melaka... Think it was called SMK Infant Jesus or something... Sorry if I get it wrong...
Knew a Tweeter fanatic and a Belieber (although I'm not a big fan of him...)
Quite a nice person to chat with and very fun person...
Really nice still can communicate with her but I seldom use Tweeter now... ; (
But I'm sure we will chat soon... XD

The tension seems to be escalating between me and somebody until to the brink of... Well I don't know what's the appropriate word to put it...
At first it was just the silent treatment where I don't mind her business and she don't mind mine...
But once in a while she still approach me to ask something... I still have the decency to answer her...
After a while she started deeming me as untrustworthy and those of cheating other people...
Then things starts to get nasty... Where we started to argue (would be an understatement...) in front of the whole BBTEI... I don't think the lecturer was there... Was he??
Then we started argue once every time we make any kind of communication...
My friend said you must not respond to anything she said if you are a gentleman...
HELL NO... That ain't a gentleman... That's a quitter... Just because I'm a guy and she's a she I have to let her win?? That's sexism...

Well that's all the update for the 1st part of this semester... Hope the next half will be better...

Haizzz...

Hmmm... Seems like there is a lot of people out there... Who like to stuck their noses on other people's business... Really hate keh poh people...
Well a very good example will be my previous post...
I don't mind if you comment on it if you do know me or let me know your identity...
Or at least don't just make an account out at the instant u saw my post and just want to comment on it...
And worse yet there are some people that have nothing better to do then to waste their time and imitate other people's name and talk trash about it...

Well seems that one good had come out from it and I wanted to thank them...
They thought me that I don't need to be affected by everybody and I AM MY OWN SELF...
My world doesn't revolve around them so f**k off...
And oh yeah... Whatever you say can't affect me... You make me think more positive...
Stick and stone may break my bone... But your criticism?? Hell... I can't think of something less affecting then them...
My world does not revolve around you... Maybe some people but definitely not YOU!!!
How I think is my choice... If your advice is any good I'll accept it but don't expect me to accept everything... I'll been down that road...
Whatever criticism I will accept it as long as it doesn't sound so harsh and vulgar and rude...

Please do not think Im mentioning you if you are not involved in this... Don't be so sensitive... This may not involve you...

Reality...

Hmmm...
Really learnt something this week...
There is nothing in this world that you do you can get back 100%
That is just naive thinking for little children...
I was too blinded or emotionally shook to realize that...

When people do approach you...
Most of the time they only want to get something from you...
Or want to take advantage of you...
There is no such people that find you with no intention of themselves gaining something...
I learnt that the hard way...
The silent maiden who spoke only with the intention something of you...

There is no real friends...
And the phrase friends forever is for fools...
Its really just a matter of time before they truly betray you...
By that time it will be too late and you will be shook to your core...
Then the true nature will be seen thru and it will be the ugliest thing u ever see...
There's nothing more sinister than a person who cares nothing but its own benefit...

Farewell...

I REALLY REALLY HATE IT!!!
Really hate those people who want to stick their nose up other people's business
And the worse part is they don't even know what's going on!!!
They pretend they do and just accuse anybody they hate that the person is wrong...
They don't even have the decency to go and check and their stubbornness prevents them from the truth...

At first you think your so called "advice" is any use to me?
Isolating me from my other friends...
Just that you don't like them does not mean that I have to follow in your footsteps and hate them too!!!
You have to learn that not everybody in this world can follow to every word you say...
I think the only person is your soulmate... if he is unfortunate enough...

It's just a different way where people communicate... And they think its a quarrel...
They just think that most of the time they are correct but... REALITY CHECK!!! They are not...
And they think they can use something as pity as friendship to intimidate me...
Well with friends like these... Who needs enemies?
All I need to say is its hardly been a pleasure knowing you...
And the misery that you had caused me you don't even realize...

I'm better off alone... Your words have brought me nothing but emotional stress...
Goodbye to you...

A message to my current self...

Things had really got out of hand for me...
I should have paid more attention to the signals...
But who am I to blame...
Maybe I'm a little stubborn...
Ignore it and just bear with the consequences...
How hard could it be? Well as I had found out now... REAL HARD!!!
If I could just heed the advice of others and stop and think for a while...
Just don't go rushing at it...
Maybe you can see a clearer picture...
Instead of just rushing at it and wanting to hear or think what you want to think...
That is very selfish of me and at the end of the day the only casualty is me...
Just reconsider for a while...
Not to say give up completely...
You are an educated person... Don't go around like a savage...
Didn't you get that lesson already before?
One little mistake of all or nothing has made matters from bad to worse before...
The experiment had been wrong... Stop dwelling around or crying over spill milk...
Think of way to improve it, make a discussion... or better yet... Design another one...
With now you really have nothing to loose...
REALLY STOP AND THINK FOR ONE F**KING WHILE DAMNIT!!!


But deep inside I know its simply too easy to say and too hard to do...
I'm in too deep and reluctant to let go...
Its always going to end with a no...
Its a destined end for the show...