21st

So it was my 21st birthday a few days ago... And truthfully I don't think its as good as most people say it is...
To me its really just a number and a typical day, but not to say that I don't appreciate the people that help me celebrate it but its just happy for the moment and after that it just feel empty...
My ideal way of spending it was to just go to some nearby beach and walk along the sand while listen to the waves hitting the sand and feeling the wind blowing on my face... Either with somebody special (don't have anybody apart my mother) or alone and left with my thoughts...
Or just sit there by the seaside at night with a good book and just enjoy the moment...
But truthfully, it may be one of my most worse days...

First I woke up 9 something and just drive all the way to KL just to pass up a form regarding a run on some place in the town that I never even heard of furthermore been to... But luckily I still have GPS to guide me...
Fortunately I reached there without getting lost...
Then my friend only realized that she forgot to bring the transfer slip to prove that we already paid the fee for the run and I'd be a liar to say that i wasn't mad with her but it wasn't her fault entirely...
And it was very jam in the city area, I'm having a stomach ache and with the hot weather and all... IT REALLY COULD GET TO A PERSON'S NERVE...
I was holding it very hard inside not to burst my temper as I do not want other people to see my bad side...

We went around KL trying to find a bank that can print out the statement but unfortunately no bank was open on a Saturday...
Furthermore we had some arguments as to how to go to the band by walking or driving and we showed our worse sides to each other... I think both wasn't very proud of that... But we got through it without much awkwardness...
In the end we channeled our anger to somewhere else which is the workers of the registration as they reject our plea to pay it first hand and request for a refund for the previous transaction which is beneficial to both parties...
But i think with such experience we get to know better about each other... Good or bad...

Other incident was much of a blessing rather than an unfortunate event...
My car had a problem which is it was leaking petroleum without me knowing until on that day as i was fetching my family and got the sudden urge to pump my tire's air...
I notice something weird as there was some liquid flowing under my car and upon closer inspection it was petroleum... Luckily it was only leaking when the engine was running so I had no choice but to drive my mother's car... Although it was just bought recently but I still prefer my old car...
Its an indescribable relationship I guess... XD
Thinking that if I didn't pump air on that day I would have driving that car all the way to KL and it might have exploded!!!

Well that was how my 21st birthday was spent... It was somewhat unfortunate but it was certainly memorable...
All in all I wouldn't have it any other way as I get to spend time with the people I enjoy being around with given the experience is enjoyable or not...

Also special thanks to my labmate and my housemate for helping me celebrate my birthday!!! Really had a surprising and great time!!! Wish can spend time with you all longer!!!

Rude awakening

Somehow I'm back to writing here again... Its been a while since something happen that discourage me to writing things here, but... What the heck, I'll give it another try and ignore those critics...

Recently I seem to hear a lot of people around me having some kind of relationship problem, but me being curious went to enquire more information from them...
Most of them were my female friends but they seem to have the similar issue...
Post breakup depression or wondering whether they should just patch up and give it another go...
Its really not my authority to direct them in any direction but all I can do is just offer them an advice...

If people really wan a serious relationship with you, you wont be having this problem in the 1st place
And the truth is no matter how many tears you shed or how badly you treat yourself they aren't going to feel anything if they just don't want you in their future anymore...
I know its hard letting go just that you both had a long history, but people don't see you with them in their own version of future but you are still draining your life force away and thinking that maybe... JUST MAYBE... you both can be together again...
They already chosen another path... Involved in another person's life and you are already a past that's keep on reminiscing the good 'ol days... It ain't going to do you any good!!!

My advice is to just move on... Try to forget it... Coz even if they came back for you, you will be treated like a replacement and it wont last long... its just an illusion...
Stop the stalking, stop the hope that everything in the end will turn out okay and stop the hating...
JUST FORGET IT!!!
Move on... Your whole life is ahead of you... Don't waste it on senseless things...

And stop saying you are stupid... Nobody never makes mistakes in their life but the difference is whether you pick yourself up and learn something from it or you are doomed to repeat it again...
Just take it as an experience learning and stop saying you are STUPID!!!
We fail, we cry but by the end of the day we brush ourselves off and walk away because we know that we survive it and thats all that matters...

So... STOP THE TEARS... BECAUSE A SMILE IS MORE BEAUTIFUL...