Thinking...

What will you do when you are lonely?

Like when you have been engulf by a shroud of never ending darkness...

You have so much kept inside but you just don't have the right person to talk to?

There is like a sense of emptiness inside that it's just like a puzzle missing it's last piece...

Haizzzz...

What does it take to just find the right person to let it all out?

Let all the raw emotions to burst out without the listener complaining?

Loneliness?

I haven't find a right cure for it yet except to just embrace it and let it consume you...

Because thats just how I handle it... Seriously...

Someone once told me hugging makes it feel better... Really?

I asked myself cause as long as I can remember I never been hugged by anyone... Even my own mother...

Hmmm... Worth some thought thinking about it...

These few months ago I had became very sensitive towards few issues that have been otherwise immune to me...

I've been thinking what is the reason that had make me become so?

Is it that I have grown weak and feeble mentally and just can't take any of this?

Or maybe I had just released some of my secrets that few know to a certain person?

In conclusion the reason is still uncertain and to all whom my behavior had caused you misery I apologize...

I think this is a few rare time that I wrote about my emotions...

When you just have time to be alone and just think about what you have done so far you will tend to think either very dumb things or things that you usually don't care much...

I think mine is a little mix of both...

I wrote this on a bus trip...

Start of holiday... Going to be bored...

Just finished all finals for my subject this semester...
Haizzz... Really speechless for the last paper... CHEMISTRY!!!
Have I mentioned that I DON'T LIKE CHEMISTRY!!!
Luckily my coursework marks were enough for me to pass...If not... Unimaginable...
The good thing is that is the start of the long awaited holiday... And the not so good part?? Bored...

Initially today my plan was to go to book fair... But...
After I went to consult something there wasn't really any time...
So invited Sujee to go for a game of pool... My treat...
But (again)... Her relative is coming to take her to shop or do anything fun in KL... BUMMER!!!
Then went to eat and saw Ji-Zhang and chat with him for a while and started to get desperate and finding Yi Wei for pool... But... He refused... Haizzzz...
Really started to get desperate...


Then what to do for 4 hours?? Since Dr. Choong is going back at 6pm...
I went to library and mann!!! Lemme tell you its the 1st time I saw the most people in the library and the noisiest!!! (Come on la librarian!! Do your job la!!!)
I went to read magazines which i don't have the time to read before...
But... I ended up sleeping in the library and playing with my IPod!!! Zzz...
I drooled all over my IPod sumore!!! WTF!!! Luckily its not damaged... IF not T_T...
Then at last at around 5.40pm i went to Dr. Choong's office but nobody was there... WTH!!!
And he called me and said he already half way back then I said never mind la...
I just wanted to remind him to let me know if there was something i can help in the lab during holiday... Don't want to get bored... Seriously...

Back to the topic at hand... WHAT AM I GOING TO DO IN THE HOLIDAYS??
Going to be so damn bored!!!
Planning to go to the book fair a few days later... Probably friday...
And the second week of December I have a camp coming up...
The week after that Im going for a trip to Pangkor (again) with my secondary frens (now there sumthn different...)
Only 3 EVENTS IN THE WHOLE 1 MONTH?? What am I going to do?
Haizzz... Planning to read as many novel as I can... Bought a lot of it last time... Going to buy more... Hehe...
Then maybe learn to play the piano again... Maybe...
And if can read about my next semester subjects... BIOCHEMISTRY & GENETICS...
Heard from senior its going to be very hard... Better start from now...
But the 1st thing I'm going to do is catch up the 2 episodes of TARA and TAR...
Last 2 weeks im going to have my finals so i couldn't find the time to watch it!!!
Hope CLAIRE & MICHELLE is still in TARA!!! >.<
As for TAR I juz want to see who win... Since the team I supported - TEAM JUMBA is eliminated... SAD...
Well thats my plan... Hope it won't be bored as I've said...

Finally I would want to wish all those having their SPM or STPM tomorrow all the best!!!

Hectic...

Nowadays so long didn't write blog ady...
Damn busy these days...
Especially with test last week and this week, not to mention all the constant assignments and reports...
Its driving me nuts!!! Haizz... 
But what to do?? Its degree so we must cope with it...
This week i have to do 3 lab report some more!!!
Monday I have to pass up 2 lab reports,but the saturday before I was goofing off... 
Bothered by some stupid matters... If it wasn't for that I can finish it by saturday itself...
Then I cant get it off my mind so went to watch movie alone... Watched MEGAMIND
Normally I won't watch cartoon in the cinema but since i was emotional so I made an exception...
Overall quite a good movie only it was too much a love story and the joke i think will be hard for the children to understand... But I've enjoyed it...
After that tried to call someone out but nobody's free, then go to eat char kuey teow... Lonely...
In the end rush all the report at Sunday...





Wednesday got test some more... Chemistry!!! I HATE CHEMISTRY!!!
I SUCK AT CHEMISTRY!!! (Thats not the reason...)
Read everything like its final... And still not confident after finish it... =.=
Thursday we got interview for our MCB SGD...
I havn't quite have the chance to go through what my other group member had did...
And when I did read... I already wished I didn't... It was really painstakingly hard to understand...
I should check for errors 1st before I let them pass it up... Luckily the question Dr Choong asked wasn't too hard... I think it has us being the last group and it is currently the last class...
Thursday was another round of quiz for us... This time was MCB so I was a little bit relieved... Little bit...
It was one of my favorite chapter... Immunity... I thought it was going to be easy... Or so I thought...
It was really tricky as the question was twisting and turning as they could... But I like a good challenge... Haha...

This week have spent a lot of time chatting with different people... At first I thought it will be a complete waste of time... But in the end it was quite enlightening listening to other people's stories or giving opinion...
You really can learn a lot from other just by listening...
And you can see a lot just by quietly observing people... Their character can come out by itself...
Wednesday go chat wif a secondary friend until 3.30AM... Very satisfying...
Although Im a little bit jealous of him but what's in the past had PASSED... No use grasping it...
Also Im quite happy for him... Hope he succeeds...
Before my group interview on the next day I had a brief (okay, not that brief) chat wif another college friend...
And thats my time that I show her my skill... (well its not much a skill) I think we chat for about 20 minutes or more... But time flies when you are chatting... Especially when things get interesting...
I've shown her the true picture and she agrees with me... What a surprise!!!
Thats the 1st time anybody sees eye to eye with me... (Very Happy!!)

Anyway Im going to KL tomorrow and having stomach upset... Hope it doesn't spoil my trip!!!
If everything goes well then going to post another blog tomorrow... CANT WAIT!!!

开心的星期

最近花了很多时间来谈天。。。

星期一（好像是）放学后跟讲师冲六点谈到八点半

最后还是他在我到火车站

幸亏火车早到，但是回到都已近十点了

回到家好累==

第二天又花了两个小时和淑琦谈天

很不错，学了我很多以前都不知道的事

好有趣哦，哈哈

还有说了一些话搞到我现在有一些困惑

都是因为你讲了那句话啦！！

那天突然我上次和我一起打工的朋友打电话给我

说有工作给我，要不要和他一起去做

但整体来讲它就没有说是什么工作

弄到很神秘的样子

本来说下一天出来讲的，但是因为她不得孔说一要改下一次

还在想着什么是network marketing...

她讲是这个但没多加解释 （搞什么神秘啦！！！）

今天很高兴，中学朋友突然找我谈天

说考试过后找我出来

要找到然可以，但最好不要在我考试期间

我说等在下个星期或23号过后我才得空，她说没关系

好期待哦！！ （最好那时她还记得我。。><)

反省

人的天性时不时看到人家有比自己好的东西就要呢？
如果得不到会怎样呢？
会不会有那种如果别人拿不到，就没有人可以拿到？
相信大多数的人都是这样的吧，我也不例外。。。

时常看到人家快乐的样子，我就恨不得想把他们的笑容都摘下
看到人家有好的东西，也希望会快一点坏了
看到人家的成绩好过我，就像一定要赢了他们
就算赢了也使我一个人高兴业无所谓
因为我自己知道我好过他们，我自己高兴又如何呢？

唉。。。一直以来都是以这种想法生活
时不时要改下呢？
改了又会怎样呢？我的人生是否会好一点呢？
朋友会不会多一点呢？
真是不明白，要好好认真地想一想

Stubbornness (This may make me sound like a total nerd...)

This blog I want to dedicate to one of my friend... YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!
I know this is nothing big but I still wants to point something out
Can you make your view of the world a bit wider?
I mean COME ON!!! You cant just blame anything bad that happens to humans
I know mostly catastrophic disasters are caused by humans but not all are caused by humans!!!
Can you say that tsunami, earthquake or volcano eruption maybe caused by humans also?
That cannot be right? At least not now cause human present time just don't have the technology.
But come to think about it... Earthquake is actually good for the Earth!!! 
Don't judge me Im not a doom sayer or a lunatic!!! 
Why? Because like a steam cooker if the cooker does not release its pressure it will EXPLODE!!!
THIS IS REAL!!! I mean you don't want the Earth to explode right?
And the same goes for volcano eruption and tsunami...
Without earthquake (movement of tectonic plates) there won't be Himalayas!!!

Okay there are other harm that is done by human such as global warming, pollution, deforestation...
And the list goes on and on...
These are the harm caused by mankind!!! Don't go mixing it up with natural disasters!!!
And by the looks of it we are progressing (although slow) towards repairing the damage done...
We are making everything solar or wind powered... Innovation in green tech...
And I am looking at the bright side that it can be undone in time!!!
You dont need to go all end-of-the-world type or gave-up-all-hope that says the earth will die on our hands
SURE!!! The earth is going to die... But not at our hands as in 2 billion years later consumed by the sun!!!
If you are still around... Feel free to buy lots of sun tan on... I dunno... SPF 1 billion?!! XD
And even if the earth is make inhospitable by humans... It will be for another 1 or 2 century!!!

The final line is GET A GRIP OF YOURSELF MAN!!!
The world is not going to end (at least not on your lifetime) and stop telling people it is!!!
Just wanted to point this out to you... NO OFFENCE!!!

1st time!!!

Today damn rushing!!!
Class ended at 5.30PM but I go home at 6...
Got some unfinished business... ^^
Luckily today got somebody I recognized at the train station there accompany me...
If not I think I'm going to bored to death by waiting alone for almost an hour...
After reached Seremban and went home... I only managed to eat a bowl of rice then need to go fetch primary friends Jia Xin & Jia Qi to primary friends gathering (I think it had became a tradition every Friday)

The thing that scared me the most is we are gathering in a venue that I never been before
Foodtiam in S2... One of the twins say they think its a place call sumthing...(Paiseh I forgot ady ^^lll)
We almost got lost coz they say is near the City Park but I went to different direction... ZZZ.
But in the end we managed to get there... And there were only 2 person sitting there... E Hin & Chai Li
Initially the gathering was suppose to be before 6 PM... And when we reached there was almost 8.30
Luckily we went there later... If not we have to wait that long... Haha...
Then finally the usual of Mei Ting, Kok Kian, Koe Shyan & Ai Jia came...
Altogether 9 people and its suppose to be a gathering?? Come on!!!
Finally Chin Yoon came after we decided to go to the next venue...
Which was decided last minute... Lake garden... Sien...
To add matters worse the air con in my car broke down... Damn hot!!!
Reached there need to wait for them sumore... They took the long route...

Then after we reached there... Jia Xin, Jia Qi, Koe Shyan, Chai Li & I "coincidencely" need to go toilet...
So we walked towards Royal Bintang hotel and we saw them taking something from their cars...
Chai Li told us she heard them saying something about cream...
So we thouyght they were going to cream us so we escape towards the hotel...
We went to toilet and when we were planning how to escape E Hin came up so we tricked him into the toilet... And we went to lift and go explrong XP
Then Koe Shyan plan to go to his car and excape... But E Hin finally managed to got up to his car...
We told him we were going for some fresh air and he believed!!! What luck!!! Haha...'
Koe Shyan still surprised he believed... Haha...

But we finally went back coz my car was still there... And we afraid that we angered them...
And they all saw like we were retreating coz we already know something was up...
They started singing Happy Birthday... Then told us to hold the cake... And took picture

Then I decided to become the hero and just rushed towards Kok Kian and E Hin...
I could easily counter them if I wanted to but I decided not to... Coz I can easily saw the cream behind their back on their hand... And I ended up being creamed the worst... CHECK THIS OUT

DAMN!!!
I ended up smelling like I had an accident on the milk factory...
But it was fun... The other gurls got off clean though... Koe Shyan only got cream on his cheeks...
Then we all acted like we never took any pictures before and started taking alot of pictures!!!
The birthday gurls and boys!!!


One scene was really funny as Chin Yoon became the lamp post or "cake post"!!! haha

NICE~~~

The twins lenglui Jia Xin & Jia Qi...

Chai Li... Jia Jia...

The 2 fellar whop creamed me... E Hin and Kok Kian... Next time u know!!! Hmph >.<

Romantic ya?? But don't let her bf know... After kill him... Haha...

Koe Shyan still paranoid!!! Haha...

In the end I had a lot of fun because this is the 1st time anybody surprised me for my birthday (and being creamed) and 1st time anybody beside my family helped me celebrated my birthday...
Cant sleep that night bcoz too excited!!! ( and because the smell of the cream...)
We had 2 cakes one of it (Jia Qi and Jia Xin's) were finished)...
Another unfortunately was invaded by ants that if anyone (me) wanted to take it back they have to cut the middle piece where there were no ants... (I did!!! XD)
REally Delicious!!!


The cakes and the model (Ai Jia)

The cake that was finished!!!

Final Picture!!!

NICE!!! Not a retart!!!