My no. 23...

Hmmm... I've been friend with you for a few years ady...
And the impression you gave me is... Well... Unpleasant...
Thats the most least offensive words I can come up with... I've been keeping everything inside me...
Well its no secret how I felt towards you... At least a few know it and a handful can see it...
You humiliated me... Mocked me... Laughed at me and make lots of jokes using me...
Have you ever considered how I felt? Well as a matter of fact YOU DO!!!
"He won't mind de la... He is used to it ady..."
Thats almost always your excuse... I didn't even have any say in it either...
Why? Cause if I offend you I offend the whole gang...
You had the whole gang under your arms... For the greater good I resist...

When a few months ago I heard that you were going away I bet I was the happiest to heard about it...
Just imagining all the bad memories and all the things u said about me were going to be a thing of the past couldn't had made me any happier...
I admit that there was a time that you going away were not good enough for me that I even curse you...
Thinking about it now still make me happy a little...

But up to a few weeks ago your attitude towards me suddenly changed 180 degrees!!!
Saying that whatever you said to me before were just playing... They were just harmless teasing...
And I were still treated as your friend as I was always invited to your gatherings and activities...
To me your harmless teasing were like arrows having a collision course to my heart... And I think there is barely any room for more arrows...
So I just take it as your senseless pleading so that at least when you leave you still have a good reputation from me... But I can assure your efforts are all futile...
To me I still didn't feel anything as I thought it must be temporary, another trick or hormonal imbalance...
Then a really close friend of mine told me that you were advised by a few people to go easy on me but Im still not convinced so Im  not buying it...
Up until a few weeks ago the hurting words decreased and you said your pleadings an dew times more so I was a bit convinced...
But don't get me wrong I am still happy that you are leaving...


The moment the feeling of hatred towards you greatly diminished is when I receive the package you sent...
It was nothing much but after I asked who received it a I was a bit shocked...
Mostly because the person I had least expected to received it you sent it and the person I had most expected didn't receive it...
So my outlooked for you is a bit brighter now...
and your advice for me I shall cherish it...

I doubt anybody will figure out who I am talking about but in the end I wish you all the best...
But is that from my heart? That is for me to know and for everybody else to find out...

CNY 2011 Part 1 (just to sum things up...)

Had a really awesome CNY!!! Maybe the best thus far!!!
With the face that this is the only year that I won a lot of greens... Haha
First day was a blast!!! Crazy with my Primary school gang... Yeah...
1st stop was Jovial's house... Like last time but this time I don't need to wait in the car for like an hour...
Then start gambling for a while then headed to Joise's house which was on the far side of Kepayang...
Really far then we waited at Templer there sumore for them to fetch her 1st... But 1 year once so Im not complaining... And Im not alone in the car so wont be bored... Haha... Pity Kylie...
Then continue gamble at Joise's house... Really don't know she gambled?? (surprised...)
After that went to Jackee's house which was at another side of S2... (didn know alot of my primary friends live around that area... @@)
We went there just to chat for a while then E Hin invited her girlfriend out to join us... Think begging was the word... Haha... jkjk
Then the whole gang went to fetch her again and try guessing where she lives?? Yes!!! S2!!!
After that we went to Kok Kian's house which was in Dusun Setia there...
Because it was the 1st day of Chinese New Year?? so I had to go n visit the paternal side of my family... Sien...
I juz went to Kok Kian's house for 15 minutes tops then quickly rush to my grandma's house which was luckily nearby and wait for my mom and bro to arrive... (damn hectic!!!)
After I "stayed" for about 1 hour or a little more I went to dinner at Lucky... At Permai there
We celebrated Joise's birthday and I almost got drunk by gulping down a whole glass of whiskey... Almost...
Amazingly I still can drive to Hao Yan's house at Permai... I am that good... (self praising again...)
After that we went to my place again to gamble sumore which we were constantly interrupted by the annoying fireworks next door... Jackee's car alarm always went off...
Then we went to E Hin's girlfriend's house all the way in S2 to gamble sumore... Along with my brother which tagged along... In the end the 1st day I won 40 bucks... Yeah!!! Thats the most I won like forever!!!
Really the best CNY for me thus far!!! ^^



The next day was kinda dull for me...
Coz all of my friends was quite busy in the day so I have to occupy myself by watching the Royal Rumble which had a very shocking finish!!!
At around noon I went to visit my maternal grandmother...
Which most of the time there I was just occupying myself with my iPod and watching 14 Blades on TV... Bored...
We left at about 7 sumthn as I need to go Hui Nee's house...
But before that I had to fetch Yi Cheng which has completely forgotten about it... Zzz
I reached there about 8.30 when I was thought I was late but Im actually the 1st??
In the end Winson, Yun Ying, Wen Yee, Jia Hong, Nelson, Kiu Leong, Zhang Roong & Xin Yi arrived...
We gambled until 10 sumthn then went to A&W to eat...
I think I drunk 4 or 5 cans of Tiger at Hui Nee's house before I left so I insisted I didn drive...
Luckily I didn!!! There was a roadblock on the streets!!! Damn lucky!!!
After that wen went to Xin Yi's house and gamble until 1 sumthn in the morning!!!
Then the next day the adventure continues... (more on part 2...)

What I have done in 2010...

Actually theres not much...

Come to think bout there isn't anything wort writing... Haha...

LOL... Sure got something de... I didn't waste my whole year juz staring into blank space...

1st i think Im happy that I made a bunch of new friends especially during the camp back during April (or was it May? Sorry can't remember ady...)

1st time become a group leader sumore... If that was me last time I wouldn't hesitate and then turn it down...

Then had a lot of fun wif them...

Recently joined another camp with them again... And then made more friends...

Really a good gang to hang out wif... Sports or go for a movie also can...

Another really big thing is that I finally learnt how to ride a bicycle!!!

YEAH!!! Take that a**holes who keep saying its impossible for me to learn!!!

I had to admit it was quite late for me to learn it... (WTF? Quite? Ur bro learn it when he was 7!!!)

Hey... you know what they say... Better late then never!!!

I have to give credits to all the people to encourage me to do so...

Actually to say all people there is only 1 if not 2... Loen... Haha... U probably never going to read this...

Another thing is I finally made a few friends that I can truly share my secrets with without afraid it being leaked...

Although one of them is going away and I probably never going to see her in person again... SOB...

But thanks to her she made my 2010 not as dull as I expected it would be...

Im going to be okay amidst all the haters... Im contented ady...

Few days back I finally found somebody in my secondary group who I can truly talk to without being mocked...

It really is hard to store all the emotions in for 2 years without leaking it out...

But I think the dam is on the brink of bursting...

The advice she gave me is hard to digest but I'll try to take it in... And hope all the best to you too!!!

FINALLY!!! After more than a year I finally had it!!!

The wait is worth it when I had it in my palm... The sense of touching it was better than I thought...

I played with it everyday from the day I had it until now..

It really is everything I dreamed of and more...

Its my IPOD TOUCH!!!

Yeah!!! Had it in November!!!

Really worth 830!!!

And I still think its better than having an iPhone is because it has all the function an iPhone has minus the SMS and the call... For that it is 1200 cheaper!!!

I rather take my iPod and my phone along and it doesn't cost that much!!!

I LOVE iT!!! MUACKS!!!

This year is also the 1st time I had a job before...

Well it was nothing fancy... Just a part-time job as a waiter... Not to say a very good experience though...

The food was well... Enough ta make me not go back to that restaurant... EVER!!!

And that gave me a bad image of Korean cuisine...

And the next was as a helper in INTI during enrolment...

That was just for the fun of it!!! Was too bored at home... Haha... SERIOUSLY...

Finally I want to say I know I havn't been the best of what I can be in 2010... Academically or socially... I think more on socially as... well most of you knows...

I'll do my best to change my attitude and my outlook of people...

Really want to become the best I can be in the next year!!!

And Im really addicted to YouTube now... Im not lying... Really hope can minus the time on it and the time Im on Faebook!!!

SOMEBODY HELP ME IM REALLY ADDICTED TO IT!!! (HAHA... Juz kidding!!! Or am I?)

 

Friends??

Friends... Hmmm... How do you define them?
A group of people who group together by similar interest?
But if that is the case... If they cant mix together well does that group called friends too?
Then is it a group with different interest but can mix together well can consider as friends better?
Friends are group that have bonds among each other and not harm among themselves right?
Unless if one of them committed anything bad towards them... Then it is another case entirely...

OK enough introduction ady... Just something I wanted to clarify before I start...
Its just a blog what am I saying that for? Haha... I really gone crazy ady...
Just went for a trip and another camp... Before I went for both I was looking forward to the trip more thn the camp... Becoz I was going with my secondary friends to the trip instead of my other friends which I havn't met for half a year... 
Common sense tell me so as I know them better... But as always the reality is cruel...
I literally had the time of my life during the 3 days 2 night in fotang and during the camp...
Had a lot of great time and met a lot of new friends... Really cant think of anytime a had more fun than that...
Oh yeah... That was last time in Pangkor wif my INTI friends... (No offence...)

And the trip on the next week is... well... in a word... Not as good as I expected...
Most of the time was in the room and the activity they did wasn't as good as last time bcoz of the timing...
One of the activity i admit it was my bad as I duno how to ride a bike... I learning now...
And bcoz of that I have a driver!!! YAY!!!
But bcoz there was some problem of me with them so it wasn so fun compared to my last group...
Bcoz during my time with my last group I was not considered a punching bag or a pin cushion...
On the other hand I was treated like... I also dont know want to use what to describe...
Especially a few that I think they had a grudge or something against me...

A few days before the trip was very hectic...
Wednesday went to badminton with Reico, Sheng Kai and Nicholas Wong...
Really cant tahan Reico too pro ady... We are not aiming for the shuttlecock but avoiding it!!! >.<
Thursday went to watch movie with a bunch of kids... (just joking la...) one of them was my bro's classmate...
Haha... know a lot of things from her... Really had fun laughing in front of McDonalds... Like a few lunatics...


Finally I would like to state that no offence to anybody if they think they are humiliated in anyway by the words above...

Thinking...

What will you do when you are lonely?

Like when you have been engulf by a shroud of never ending darkness...

You have so much kept inside but you just don't have the right person to talk to?

There is like a sense of emptiness inside that it's just like a puzzle missing it's last piece...

Haizzzz...

What does it take to just find the right person to let it all out?

Let all the raw emotions to burst out without the listener complaining?

Loneliness?

I haven't find a right cure for it yet except to just embrace it and let it consume you...

Because thats just how I handle it... Seriously...

Someone once told me hugging makes it feel better... Really?

I asked myself cause as long as I can remember I never been hugged by anyone... Even my own mother...

Hmmm... Worth some thought thinking about it...

These few months ago I had became very sensitive towards few issues that have been otherwise immune to me...

I've been thinking what is the reason that had make me become so?

Is it that I have grown weak and feeble mentally and just can't take any of this?

Or maybe I had just released some of my secrets that few know to a certain person?

In conclusion the reason is still uncertain and to all whom my behavior had caused you misery I apologize...

I think this is a few rare time that I wrote about my emotions...

When you just have time to be alone and just think about what you have done so far you will tend to think either very dumb things or things that you usually don't care much...

I think mine is a little mix of both...

I wrote this on a bus trip...

Start of holiday... Going to be bored...

Just finished all finals for my subject this semester...
Haizzz... Really speechless for the last paper... CHEMISTRY!!!
Have I mentioned that I DON'T LIKE CHEMISTRY!!!
Luckily my coursework marks were enough for me to pass...If not... Unimaginable...
The good thing is that is the start of the long awaited holiday... And the not so good part?? Bored...

Initially today my plan was to go to book fair... But...
After I went to consult something there wasn't really any time...
So invited Sujee to go for a game of pool... My treat...
But (again)... Her relative is coming to take her to shop or do anything fun in KL... BUMMER!!!
Then went to eat and saw Ji-Zhang and chat with him for a while and started to get desperate and finding Yi Wei for pool... But... He refused... Haizzzz...
Really started to get desperate...


Then what to do for 4 hours?? Since Dr. Choong is going back at 6pm...
I went to library and mann!!! Lemme tell you its the 1st time I saw the most people in the library and the noisiest!!! (Come on la librarian!! Do your job la!!!)
I went to read magazines which i don't have the time to read before...
But... I ended up sleeping in the library and playing with my IPod!!! Zzz...
I drooled all over my IPod sumore!!! WTF!!! Luckily its not damaged... IF not T_T...
Then at last at around 5.40pm i went to Dr. Choong's office but nobody was there... WTH!!!
And he called me and said he already half way back then I said never mind la...
I just wanted to remind him to let me know if there was something i can help in the lab during holiday... Don't want to get bored... Seriously...

Back to the topic at hand... WHAT AM I GOING TO DO IN THE HOLIDAYS??
Going to be so damn bored!!!
Planning to go to the book fair a few days later... Probably friday...
And the second week of December I have a camp coming up...
The week after that Im going for a trip to Pangkor (again) with my secondary frens (now there sumthn different...)
Only 3 EVENTS IN THE WHOLE 1 MONTH?? What am I going to do?
Haizzz... Planning to read as many novel as I can... Bought a lot of it last time... Going to buy more... Hehe...
Then maybe learn to play the piano again... Maybe...
And if can read about my next semester subjects... BIOCHEMISTRY & GENETICS...
Heard from senior its going to be very hard... Better start from now...
But the 1st thing I'm going to do is catch up the 2 episodes of TARA and TAR...
Last 2 weeks im going to have my finals so i couldn't find the time to watch it!!!
Hope CLAIRE & MICHELLE is still in TARA!!! >.<
As for TAR I juz want to see who win... Since the team I supported - TEAM JUMBA is eliminated... SAD...
Well thats my plan... Hope it won't be bored as I've said...

Finally I would want to wish all those having their SPM or STPM tomorrow all the best!!!

Hectic...

Nowadays so long didn't write blog ady...
Damn busy these days...
Especially with test last week and this week, not to mention all the constant assignments and reports...
Its driving me nuts!!! Haizz... 
But what to do?? Its degree so we must cope with it...
This week i have to do 3 lab report some more!!!
Monday I have to pass up 2 lab reports,but the saturday before I was goofing off... 
Bothered by some stupid matters... If it wasn't for that I can finish it by saturday itself...
Then I cant get it off my mind so went to watch movie alone... Watched MEGAMIND
Normally I won't watch cartoon in the cinema but since i was emotional so I made an exception...
Overall quite a good movie only it was too much a love story and the joke i think will be hard for the children to understand... But I've enjoyed it...
After that tried to call someone out but nobody's free, then go to eat char kuey teow... Lonely...
In the end rush all the report at Sunday...





Wednesday got test some more... Chemistry!!! I HATE CHEMISTRY!!!
I SUCK AT CHEMISTRY!!! (Thats not the reason...)
Read everything like its final... And still not confident after finish it... =.=
Thursday we got interview for our MCB SGD...
I havn't quite have the chance to go through what my other group member had did...
And when I did read... I already wished I didn't... It was really painstakingly hard to understand...
I should check for errors 1st before I let them pass it up... Luckily the question Dr Choong asked wasn't too hard... I think it has us being the last group and it is currently the last class...
Thursday was another round of quiz for us... This time was MCB so I was a little bit relieved... Little bit...
It was one of my favorite chapter... Immunity... I thought it was going to be easy... Or so I thought...
It was really tricky as the question was twisting and turning as they could... But I like a good challenge... Haha...

This week have spent a lot of time chatting with different people... At first I thought it will be a complete waste of time... But in the end it was quite enlightening listening to other people's stories or giving opinion...
You really can learn a lot from other just by listening...
And you can see a lot just by quietly observing people... Their character can come out by itself...
Wednesday go chat wif a secondary friend until 3.30AM... Very satisfying...
Although Im a little bit jealous of him but what's in the past had PASSED... No use grasping it...
Also Im quite happy for him... Hope he succeeds...
Before my group interview on the next day I had a brief (okay, not that brief) chat wif another college friend...
And thats my time that I show her my skill... (well its not much a skill) I think we chat for about 20 minutes or more... But time flies when you are chatting... Especially when things get interesting...
I've shown her the true picture and she agrees with me... What a surprise!!!
Thats the 1st time anybody sees eye to eye with me... (Very Happy!!)

Anyway Im going to KL tomorrow and having stomach upset... Hope it doesn't spoil my trip!!!
If everything goes well then going to post another blog tomorrow... CANT WAIT!!!